Regarding Motherfuckers (Republican Edition):
Here’s something one hopes the Obama administration has learned from the past couple of days: You need to expect that motherfuckers will fuck their mothers. It’s just what motherfuckers do. They fuck their mothers. It’s right there in the word. If you put John Boehner’s mother in front of him, he will fuck her. Because he is a motherfucker. It’s what he knows. It’s what all Republicans know. It’s their nature.
You can’t just think that you’ll walk into a group of ’em and say, “Aw, c’mon, stop fucking your mothers.” They won’t listen. You can appeal in any way you like – it’s wrong, it’s immoral, their mothers’ asses are bleeding. It won’t make a whit of difference. The motherfucking will continue, right in front of you. No, you just have to accept that a motherfucker will always fuck his or her mother every chance they can. That they live to fuck their mothers. To expect anything else is to be foolish. And once you accept that motherfuckers were, are, and will always be motherfuckers, you need to act accordingly. You need to treat motherfuckers like the motherfuckers they are.
We don’t know what Barack Obama actually said to Republican members of Congress in his closed-door meetings with them yesterday regarding his stimulus plan. But we do know one thing for sure: it accomplished nothing. This is the way it’s gonna go, and if you’ve paid attention at all, you know the steps: Obama will concede shit and Republicans will ask for more (even though they already got more tax cuts than anyone fucking needs), Obama will concede more shit and Republicans will ask for more (even though they’re gonna get the family planning funding taken out), Obama will concede more shit and Republicans will ask for more, and then when the vote comes, Republicans will vote against it, saying that no one listened to them and fuck that Obama for lying about bipartisanship. Yet the legislation will have passed in a watered down form from the deep infrastructure and other spending so desperately needed to, you know, create jobs, which will, you know, create taxable income, which will, you know, help actually pay for shit some day.
Obama better know a simple fact: they fucking hate him. Right now, Obama represents the fact that everything they believed was a complete failure. For making that clear to the American people, they fucking despise him. They hate his majority, they hate his coattails, they hate that all over the country people are supporting his ideas. Republicans have nothing right now, which means they have nothing to lose by trying to drag Obama into their pit of shit. They’ll smile and say it was a good conversation, but they’re waiting in the back halls of the Capitol to fuckin’ shiv Obama and laugh while he bleeds. And try to force Americans back into their crooked arms.
That’s the thing about motherfuckers. You can tell them, “Okay, you can fuck your mothers, but only for an hour a day.” They might agree, but sure as you’re reading this, the second they walk away, they will…well, by now, you know.
I saw this bumper sticker yesterday on a beat-up old truck in the slow lane of I-95. I figured the driver had to be an old white guy who wants those damned kids to stay out of his yard — there I go, stereotyping again! — and of course, the driver was an old, white shitkicker, plaid shirt, snow-white wavy hair combed straight back in a style from the ’60s, and doing 50 in a 70 zone — a speed probably commensurate with the ever-slowing beating of his poisoned heart.
HELL YES I WANT OBAMA TO FAIL!
Well, at least the redneck wasn’t hiding it. (He was, however, hiding all the useful commas that good grammar demands.) Not that his opinion really matters anyway, because, frankly, there isn’t a single iota of conscious thought, of intellect, of rational cogitation, nor reason in that Radical Right Refrain from Rush.
Opinions are like assholes, people like to say, usually in a way that makes them feel superior to the assholes to whom they’re referring. You know, the other ones. They’ll wink, You get the joke, right? because, of course, You ARE one of us, right? But in fact people who use cliches like Opinions are like assholes are simple-minded parrots who have no idea what the fuck they’re spouting off about. They’re followers. They get their opinions from TV or they’re handed down from their parents or their grandparents or whomever, because we live in an anti-intellectual America that doesn’t respect facts, that doesn’t respect smarts. They think they’re smart, because Rush said it, Rove wrote and directed it, they believe it, and that settles it.
It’s really sour grapes. It’s the last gasp of the Party of Sore Losers. I wrote about the sore losers here, once upon a time, and it seems that they’re still shambling toward us, the living and the thinking, hungering zombie-like for the braaaains they simply don’t have. Their hatred, their venom, their teeth-gnashing, Tea Partying, bloodspitting just won’t end . . . because they lost to Obama.
Even more importantly, because they know that their guy previously in the White House fucked everything up.
And then a black guy came along to fix things.
Unspeakable! Heresy! Anti-Christ! Nazi!
Every asshole has an opinion — but the only opinions anybody smart should listen to are informed opinions.
I love the Rude Pundit. Lee Papa has a blog here on blogspot, usually updated daily (he’s much more reliable about that than I) and I urge you to read it and feel the burn. Let the anger rise like acid reflux at his words, his insights, at the hate and the crimes of right-wing ringmasters — the rabble-rousers of the great uninformed.
I’m reading his book right now, loving it. The Rude Pundit’s Almanack. He knows of which he speaks. He uses reason, rational argument. He uses humor. He uses angry, dirty words. He calls uber-Right nutjob Rick Santorum as “Crazy as a weasel orgy.”
BUY THIS BOOK.
Here’s a steal from the Rude Pundit’s blog. The words are so good, so right, that I quote the post in its entirety. He uses part of this in his book, but I wanted to use it to show that I’m not making up the right-wing poison. I’m not exaggerating it. I see it, I hear it, almost every day, from people who want to share racist Obama jokes, to friends who truly believe an anonymous note on Facebook that Obama canceled the National Day of Prayer. (Just so you know, he didn’t.)
This is informed opinion. It should be listened to. It should make you angry enough to do something about it.
Keep kicking ass, Lee.